Getting back on that horse

So, last night, I had an audition for the spring play at church. The play is a comedy, "God's Favorite" by Neil Simon. Getting to that audition was quite a journey. If you recall correctly, last year I was devastated after finding out that I had not gotten a part in the spring play. I had been so sure that I had gotten the part, and then when that didn't come true, I was shaky, unsure of where I stood as an actor. Or even if I was an actor. I was angry and distraught. Distraught is a good word for it, I think. And disoriented. Completely without direction. Anyway, I had a tough time starting to do acting things again, but I've slowly gotten my confidence back, thanks to some excellent direction along the way doing skits in the church services, and a fun stint with the Strange Tree Group/Aloft Aerial Dance production of "Ghost Stories" this past fall. Small parts, all, but one by one, they helped build back the confidence that God has given me the gift of acting, even in a small measure, to bring glory to Him.

So then we get to this past weekend. Fortunately for me, Scott is a tough cookie. I told him at least three different times this weekend that I wasn't going to audition. He (with his usual infuriatingly calm demeanor) told me that he thought it would be a good idea if I auditioned. He understood the anxiety, the rage that resurfaced in me from last year's difficult result, but he encouraged me to try again. Eventually, I harkened back to my days as an equestrian (you think I'm kidding? Ask me...), and I said to myself, "Well, if you fall off the horse, you have to get up and get back on, otherwise you'll never get on one again." So I sucked it up and auditioned.

And it was fun. I had forgotten how much fun it is to audition, especially with a well-written comedic play. To be able to read (and watch) good material over and over again, finding nuances in each turn that you didn't find the time before, is liberating. To be with a great group of people that is supportive to its core and applauds each try as Oscar-worthy is uplifting and redeeming in many, many ways. It was so awesome to see everyone bring different perspectives, different mannerisms to life in the characters. I love that everyone brings something unique to each turn on stage. It's like multiple personalities for each character, and the director gets to pick the one he/she likes best. How fun is that? (If only I could do that with MY multiple personalities! Kidding, kidding...)

So we'll see how it all turns out. In a large way, it won't matter how it turns out. Because I conquered the biggest demon by getting back up on that horse again. What's waiting out there, I don't know. All I know is that there's nothing quite like the feeling of riding a horse with the wind at your back.