Have you seen my sanity?

The good news: I am graduating in May with honors.

The bad news: I have misplaced my sanity.

I have been wound tighter than a Swiss clock for several weeks now. Some of you know this. Some of you have escaped the chaos. For the latter, congratulations, and may I encourage you to stay out of my way until after May 8.

I have had regular anxiety attacks, nausea and chest pains for somewhere around a month now. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little stressed. A job, an internship and grad school all at the same time will do that for you. I have four things due in the next two weeks. I have no doubt that I will get them done, and Lord willing, get them done well. And find time to meet my new niece, who is due next week, if she follows her regularly scheduled programming. But I am having a hard time calming down.

I feel, right now as I type this, like my chest is being squeezed in a vise. Three weeks ago, this landed me in the emergency room at Swedish Covenant, it got so bad. I have to tell you, those people at Swedish, they're fabulous. I highly recommend them if you are having chest pain. They are right on it! They diagnosed me with gastritis. It's possible, I suppose. I have half-jokingly told Scott for months that I'm getting an ulcer. The nausea certainly doesn't hurt that hypothesis. Me, though, I think it was anxiety. Good ol' fashioned perfectionism wrapped up in expectations topped with Type-A.

It certainly isn't helping things that Scott is also overwhelmed at this particular point in time, working full-time and doing two shows. It's hard to support each other when you're both overwhelmed. So we don't. Which leads to "discussions." Which leads to apologies and a promise for a date sometime in the next three months. Probably in May.

Lord willing and the river don't rise, I will graduate with honors on May 8. Until then, I am praying that I locate my sanity, perhaps under the front porch of my house, perhaps buried under the pile of books and shoes in my car. Maybe I accidentally left it in your house or at church. Let me know if you see it...it's worth a lot to me.