Gnomes

I told you a while back, after I had consumed positively gallons of chocolate in a single day, that I was a little chocolate gnome. And then I corrected my statement by saying that I am far too tall to be a gnome. This second statement is a true statement. The reason is that the typical forest gnome is 15 cm tall (I, on the other hand, am a bazillion centimeters tall). And, being that they live to be hundreds of years old, I fear that I will kick the bucket before then and label myself a liar. So, there's the truth. I am not a regular, forest, or sigh, chocolate gnome. I'm a regular human being. Bummer.

Don't believe me? Well, my friend, I am about to open the vinyl roller shade on your window of life. SNAP! There. My fascination with gnomes started at a young age, in my church's library. I am 100% Dutch, for those of you who remember my very first blog, and my church, like the good Dutch heritage church that we were at the time, had a copy of a very popular book, published originally in 1977, called "Gnomes" (of course. Really, what did you think we were going to talk about here? Pandas?) by Rien Poortvliet and Wil Huygen, two illustrators from Holland (aka "the motherland"). It is a delightful book, full of "facts" about gnomes, telling stories of the lives they lead, from their work to their play, to their home lives, clothes and health issues. It is not a novel, and it is not a children's illustrated book. To quote another reviewer, it is an illustrated sketchbook with notes as the gnome life is dissected. Both of the illustrators are artists, so it is actual art, not cartoon-y child-oriented illustrations. You can look it up on Amazon if you're interested (I highly suggest you check it out, just to see what I'm talking about). The 30th anniversary edition comes out this year, and I'm actually excited to see it again, I'm planning on buying it, because it was fascinating and absolutely wonderful in so many ways. It is whimsical and humorous and lovely. It presents things very factually and scientifically, and at the end, you are left thinking that it makes perfect sense that the world is full of gnomes that run around in the grass and flowers at night while we are sleeping. And who knows? Maybe there are. :)

So it is not without reason that I giggle when I see "The Roaming Gnome", Travelocity's spokesman. I think it's a cute ad idea. And they have a whole store full of gnome-related items. You can actually watch "The Roaming Gnome on the Telly", a collection of auditions and TV commercials featuring the gnome. Scott can't believe that I didn't like the movie "Amelie" because a gnome statue figures prominently in it. I think I need to see it again, because I think he may be right, that I would love the gnome if I stopped focusing on how irritated I am with the rest of the movie.

Anyway, it's odd, I know, that I have this fascination with gnomes. For a good Christian girl who knows that they don't exist, it's really just a whimsical fancy that I am nostalgic about from my childhood. And I don't own any gnome related memorabilia, I promise. But I do think, if I ever have a garden and even though I am violently opposed to any sort of lawn or garden ornamentation, I want to get a wee little gnome to guard it. Because all gnomes are wee. Want to know for sure? Read the book. :)