Cats

No, not the musical, the animal. Silly.

Cats have taken over the world. I keep meeting people that talk about their cats in lovely, affectionate, slighty obsessive ways. And then, everytime I pop on to MySpace, they have a different video clip of some cat doing crazy things. I think that they overlook every other funny video out there and always choose the cat ones. I also think that this proves that cat people a.) own more videocameras than dog/guinea pig/parakeet people, and b.) think that the antics of their cats are hilariously entertaining. Which they can be. I'm not saying that they're not...there are some funny cats out there.

I notice the cat thing more than most people, because I am seriously and violently allergic to them. My family actually has cats, but they are outside cats, barn cats, hanging out catching mice and laying around in the sun. I was never allergic to them, and used to play with the inevitable herds of kittens that would come along in the spring. I would take these tiny little beings out of their box and watch them explore the world cautiously, with their little tails pointed straight up in the air to balance them until they got a bit stronger, looking like little furry, tiny stuffed animals with antennae coming out of their backsides. They were adorable, and I enjoyed them immensely. I would play in the hay bales with them, twitching pieces of hay and watching them go crazy trying to catch the one piece I was moving, not realizing that they were surrounded by millions of other pieces of hay that could have been just as entertaining. There is a playfulness to most cats, some are too arrogant for that, but most are affectionate, curious, and playful. And I liked them.

Until I went to college. Being away from the farm, and because for some reason in your 20's, you start to develop allergies, I developed several seasonal allergies, and a violent allergic reaction to cats. It started out milder, with me just crying every time I was around one, my eyes would itch and water and I was done for, unable to stay wherever I was. It became more and more problematic until now I am at the point where even taking my medication, my throat begins to close, I start to wheeze, and I sit there thinking that I am going to need CPR and some IV Benadryl to recover from this reaction (fortunately, I always leave before it gets to that point...at least so far). It depends on the cat, the house, and the situation, of course, but I tend to err on the side of caution and stay away if I know that you have a cat in your house. If that is unavoidable, I pump myself full of Zyrtec and head over, hoping for good ventilation and a short visit.

I know that I am far from alone in this predicament, as many people that I know are also allergic to cats. We find this to be particularly problematic if we don't know that there will be a cat there, so if you have a cat and you invite us over, make sure to warn us. Better to tell people that you have a cat in case they are allergic than to leave that information out, hoping that they're not. I always bring medicine just in case, but it's usually too late to take it if I'm already in your house. And I apologize to all of those cat people out there (i.e. Scott, who has contemplated ending our relationship because he really wants to have a cat, and Carol, whose house I am unable to go to tonight for a dinner because of her darling redheaded kitty), if I could choose not to be allergic, I would, really. It's nothing personal against you or your cat, I promise. I am not anti-cat. I am pro-breathing. Breathing (I feel strongly about this) is good. So even though I like your cat, my lungs win every time. It is an uneven match, but I have to go with the one that keeps me alive...and I am so sorry that means that I cannot meet your fabulous cat. The good news is, you always have that videocamera...