Validity

I threw a party this weekend for a friend of mine who turned 30. It was a fabulous party, with great food, great drinks, and an amazing ambiance theme of an art gallery opening. My apartment actually looked like an art gallery. It took quite a bit of work, but it really did. I was so pleased with how it turned out. The only problem was, only 14 people showed up for the party. There were over 60 invitees. Apparently, it was a bad weekend, several people called and told me they were sick, several people were out of town, and a few had other parties to go to. I was more bummed for the birthday girl, as I wanted lots of people to come for her celebration. It was also kind of a bummer because I had spent a lot of time decorating, moving furniture, making appetizers. But I have to be okay with the fact that the party was great for those people who came. And that I throw great parties, I know that I do. The response, while lackluster in quantity, was high in quality, so I'm happy about that. And the birthday girl had fun, and appreciated the work, so that's all that really matters in the end.
I have gotten into several discussions recently with friends about different movies, TV shows, etc., and the fact that some really good art doesn't have commercial success when it should. The fact is that making a movie or a TV show, or writing or directing or acting, should not essentially be about the commercial success of said venture. It should be about telling the story that needs to be told, and doing that well. I'm reading Madeline L'Engle's "A Circle of Quiet" right now, and she talks about being a writer, and points out that being a writer is not something that you choose. It chooses you. The story overtakes you and must be put on paper, you really have no say in the matter. The only part the writer plays is that they can get in the way of the story being told, either through their manipulations or by refusing to let the story out onto the paper. And then she talks about the frustration of rejection by the publishers, but says that ultimately, the story needs to be told even if no one reads it. It's not about making money or being successful. Being an artist is losing oneself in the art, not being self-conscious or world-conscious, but becoming immersed in this thing that is bigger than you are. It would be nice if we could all make a lot of money to be artists. Unfortunately, the world sucks. So professional golfers make millions, teachers make just above the poverty level, and brain surgeons pay most of their salaries to malpractice insurance costs. Does that make what we do any less important? Certainly not. I'm a social worker by trade. Unfortunately for me, I have the gifts of compassion and mercy, not professional-level tennis skills. So I take care of the world's overlooked, and try to pay my bills. Does that mean that I should throw up my hands and say, "Screw it. I'm gonna find a way to make me some money??" I could make a lot more money in marketing, and I'm good at it. But I refuse to do it, because I feel like it sucks the soul right out of me to sell my product using my charm and perkiness.
I agree that if the world were fair, truly great movies would make just as much money as the mediocre blockbusters that currently rule the world. Or both of them would make no money and just be watched and appreciated for $2 a pop, because $400 million could be used to eradicate world hunger, if the studios weren't so damn greedy. Because we're not really doing this for the money, right? So then, what is frustrating? That superior quality is not compensated? Or that it is not recognized? Make your movie, make your TV show, be an actor, director or writer. And do it because you love it, and because you can't NOT do it, because to NOT do it would be like carving off a piece of your soul. Be driven by something other than success. Be driven by the love of what you do. Throw a party that no one comes to, just because you throw a good party. Trust me, it will mean a lot to those who truly matter.