September 11

Today is September 11. 5 years after the national crisis that shook us to our very core. It seems like a lifetime ago. I, like everyone else, remember where I was that day, but I was a different person then, younger, more naive. I was reading from Madeline L'Engle's "A Circle of Quiet" a few nights ago, written well before the Sept. 11 tragedies, and she wrote the sentence (don't have it here, so a paraphrase), "Maybe what we need is a threat from the outside, something to draw us together as a people against an outside threat." I was struck by the irony in that statement on many different levels. That outside threat happened. So what? Some would argue that we're closer as a nation. I disagree. We WERE closer, for maybe 6 months, or a year after it happened. We stood in shock that we, the most powerful nation on earth, could be attacked. We started to wonder if it was safe to fly, or to be in large skyscrapers, if our train systems would be attacked like those in Spain and London. We posted signs that read, "United We Stand--Remember the heroes of 9/11" and "These Colors Don't Run" underneath our flags, and gathered in remembrance of those who died. And then we forgot. The signs faded (those colors, apparently, do run), and the memorial services ceased. We became annoyed with the long security lines at airports, banning toothpaste and water bottles, and grumbled against the ridiculousness of their precautions. We got embroiled in discussions of war, technology, politics, religion. Back to life as usual. We live in a nation that is oddly fascinated by the events of that day, while living life daily forgetting that it happened. Because we do that. We're human. Life goes on. Miniature tragedies happen every day. There were a lot of people on 9/11 who lost loved ones. And there have been FAR more people that have lost loved ones since. Because they died one by one, instead of all at once, we forgot to pay attention. One of my classmates was murdered this summer. Murdered. Is it right that our nation spends a day in somber remembrance for those who were killed en masse by murderers on 9/11, but neglects to give their respects to those murders that happen every day within its borders? Does my friend's death mean any less than those who died in New York, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania that day? If I were to listen to a 9-1-1 call from his death, would it be any less terrifying or sickening than the calls from that day? I think not. Yet we do not pay attention to that. We skim over the article about the shooting deaths of young teenagers on the South Side of Chicago while zooming straight in to the entertainment section to find the movie reviews, yet we take time out of our days on every Sept. 11 to have moments of somber, grief-filled silence at the times that the attack happened. How can we honor one and overlook the other? Are we actually mourning the loss of our innocence and sense of indestructability more than we are actually mourning those who lost their lives that day? We didn't know them. Why do we care? Because of the possibility that it could happen to us? Thousands of people are dying every day around the country. We've never met them, never heard their names, and do not give them a passing thought. We hear the news stories each night, and we do not flinch. We are used to death. It could happen to us, we know this subconsciously. So then, why the tears on Sept. 11 each year? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? Do we find ourselves on the unfamiliar ground of weakness and frailty, wondering if this is how the rest of the world feels? They don't. They would give anything to be able to indulge themselves in those thoughts. We don't know what it's like to live with the fear of bombs dropping every day over our heads, hiding in the corners of buildings, and worrying less about eating and more about surviving today. So, why the tears, America? You've still got it pretty good compared to the rest of the world. We're lucky that we only have a selected few horrific dates on our calendar. The rest of the world could check off every day for a new memorial/ remembrance ceremony. Bombs fall daily, terrorists claim lives, all over the world every day.

I find myself oddly conflicted when I think of Sept. 11, 2001. I am in no hurry to see "United 93", or "World Trade Center" or "The Path to 9/11". I watched the 9/11 documentary, made within the towers as they were crumbling, a year or so after the tragedy, and that was enough. I needed to see what actually happened, what people actually went through, and feel compassion and empathy for the pain and hurt that they and their families experienced. I did that. I saw what it looked like, what it sounded like as the bodies fell outside the doors. That was enough for me. Why should I, five years later, see the fictionalized accounts? I don't need to imagine the horror of being there, any more than I need to imagine the horror of my friend's murder.

There are those that hold conspiracy theories about the events of Sept. 11, and would use it as fuel for political debate. My anger with them is real and justified. Political as the reason might be for the planes inside the towers, the Pentagon, the field in Pennsylvania, we are not speaking of politics and propaganda, motive and cause. We see grief, loss, hurt, shock when we look back at Sept. 11. When you look at it through the telescope of politics, you have forgotten the real human beings of that day, and that is truly a shameful indulgence. People died, were maimed, lost their loved ones. Whether you choose to dwell on that or not is your choice. I, for one, generally ignore the Sept. 11 stories every year, and this year is no different. I turn the channel when the news coverage is on, I flip through the newspaper to the current world and local news page. I am not living in denial. Sept. 11, 2001 happened. But interestingly, the world did not stop. Sept. 11 happened again, and again, and again, and again after that, and again today. And each rotation of the earth is a movement of our lives away from those tragic terrorist attacks, and a movement into the stark reality of the sad and tragic, and the beautiful and happy, events of today and tomorrow, all over the world. There is no solace to be found in wallowing in the events of Sept. 11, 2001. Live your life today, and make your Sept.11, 2006 and onwards great days. Whether our death makes the national news or not, each life is worthy, and should be lived to its fullest, because eventually, each one of us will leave this earth behind. Make sure you leave your mark on this dusty planet first.